Stress Management Strategy: Shift Your Energy After Work

I have a friend named Roger who runs a large healing center. He supervises a staff of more than twenty people and deals with almost constant financial crises. We travel in similar circles, so I often run into Roger at evening gatherings.  I’ve noticed how fresh and relaxed he always seems to be.

Recently, I asked him what his secret was. He told me, “As soon as I leave the office, I do something to totally shift my energy.” His favorite way of doing this is to put his favorite CD on at a high volume in his car as he drives down the freeway. When the CD comes on, it’s a signal both to his conscious mind and subconscious, that work is over and it’s time to play.

Roger’s strategy is a good example that each of us can emulate. Brainstorm different things you could do immediately, or as soon as possible, after work which shift the energy and help you to mentally, as well as physically, take a total break from work.

If you work out of a home office, rather than commuting to work, this might be even more important for you.  With a home-based business, it can be all too easy to never really stop work.  It’s very important to take a break and ideally have several hours of down-time before bed.

Below are a few ideas of after-work energy-shifters that have been effective for me or people I know:

1. Exercise

2. Take a nice long shower

3. Call or get together with a friend or significant other

4. Watch the sunset (of course, this only works certain times of the year)

5. Meditate

6. Relax in a hot tub

Be creative, come up with some of your own ideas. Experiment until you discover what works best for you.

Andrew Oser has been offering spiritual life coaching, along with guided retreats on Mount Shasta since 1982.   Through hikes to little-known sacred sites, guided meditations, spiritual life coaching, and time drinking in the silence of the mountain, he helps clients to deeply renew themselves in body, mind, and spirit and receive clear vision for their lives.  For more info, please see www.mountshastaretreat.net

Lifestyle Practice: Start Your Day Right

The most important minute of your day is the very first one.  During the transition between the sleeping and waking states , the door is wide open to deeply connect with your Self.

When we’re sleeping, we have a break from the habitual thinking most of us experience.   If you’re watching closely, you’ll notice that your mind will turn on almost immediately when you awaken.  It will seek to grab your attention once again, perhaps with thoughts about things you have to do during the day or unresolved issues in your life.  The key is to notice the thoughts but not get caught up in them.  Let the thoughts be background noise and put your attention elsewhere.

One place you can always focus is on your breath.  Simply feel the breath coming and out.  Enjoying that soothing rhythm will bring you deeply into the present.

You can also focus on your heart.  Perhaps put your hands on your chest to help bring attention to your heart.  If your heart is open, just enjoy the beautiful feeling of your own love.    If your heart is closed, gratitude is the simplest way to open it.  Give thanks for this day, for the breath, for whatever you are truly grateful for.

Before you get out of bed, spend at least a couple minutes, immersing yourself in the present moment.  If you notice attention following the mind into future or past, be grateful for the gift of awareness and come back to breath or heart.  

By taking even a couple minutes for this practice, you are setting a powerful tone to for your day.  You are deeply affirming to yourself that your true priority for this day is to be present and enjoy each moment.  You are breaking the hold of your mind/ego.

If at all possible, take some more extended time to deeply connect with your Self before you go to work or get busy doing things.  Doing a sitting meditation of at least 20 minutes is a wonderful practice.  If you don't know how to meditate, you might want to start with a guided meditation CD.  If you resonate with my perspective, try Come Home to Yourself, which combines my words with beautiful music by Anton Mizerak.

 If you have a sedentary job, perhaps you prefer a moving meditation.  This could be going for a walk or run, doing yoga or Qi Gong.  The important thing is to do your best to keep attention in the present, rather than letting the mind take you a wild goose chase.

When you’ve started your day like this, it will be easier to relax and drop into the present when you create gaps in activity (see Stress Management Strategy to learn more about this).   After deeply tasting the sweet nectar of the Now, you’ll remember the taste and want more.  No matter how busy your day is, you’ll  take breaks and fully enjoy them.

Andrew Oser has been offering spiritual life coaching, along with guided retreats on Mount Shasta since 1982.   Through hikes to little-known sacred sites, guided meditations, spiritual life coaching, and time drinking in the silence of the mountain, he helps clients to deeply renew themselves in body, mind, and spirit and receive clear vision for their lives.  For more info, please see www.mountshastaretreat.net

Stress Management Strategy: Creating Gaps During Work

(c) MCStrom Photos

Going from teaching tennis to running a nonprofit was certainly a radical shift in my life.  My office was now a little box rather than the great outdoors.  When I looked up, I saw a ceiling rather than the sky.   I had to learn a whole  gamut of new skills.  Rather than the simplicity of focusing on the ball and my student, I had a complex web of critical relationships to nurture and maintain, with staff, Board, funders, and volunteers.

One of the toughest parts of adjusting to an office job was that there was no longer the natural rhythm of activity, then break, of the tennis court.  I began each day with a huge to-do list, plus had to deal with quite a flood of emails, phone calls, and knocks on my door from colleagues needing support.  It was easy to get swept up in non-stop doing, going from one task to the next without a break.

I quickly realized that, if I didn’t want to drown in an ocean of endless doing, I needed to create gaps between activities.  For example, rather than getting off the phone and instantly checking email, I would pause and take a few conscious breaths.  When, I felt stress building up, I would take a walk around the block.

The very act of creating a gap is powerful. The moment we put aside our work, we are saying to our subconscious, “I have enough time. I not only have time to do all I truly need to do today, I even have time for a break.” This frees us from the hold of the ego/mind, which is constantly telling us, “There’s not enough time.”

Be creative during your gaps. Do what works for you. If you love to dance, put on your favorite CD,  If you're tense, use whatever relaxation techniques are the most effective stress management for you. Be spontaneous and playful. This is your chance to break out of the purposeful doing mode and to relax and enjoy yourself.

I think you’ll notice almost right away that when you start creating more gaps during work, your level of performance increases.  You return from even a very short break feeling refreshed.  Your mind is clear and your body more relaxed.  You not only enjoy your tasks more, but consistently do your best work.

Most Executive Directors of nonprofits burn out within a few years.  I lasted 15 years as ED of Joy of Sports Foundation,  making it through numerous financial crises and challenges with difficult employees.  I attribute my longevity largely to applying the principle of alternation between activity and breaks which I’d learned on the tennis court.

The many short breaks I took during each workday helped me to get through most days without feeling exhausted or fried.  As I will discuss in future blogs, I also did my best to use longer gaps (mornings, evenings, weekends, vacations/retreats) to renew myself.

Lifestyle Practice: Breaking the Addiction to Doing

(c) MCStrom Photos

Just about everyone carries deep, unhealed pain from childhood.  Even if we had a relatively benign childhood with no major traumas or abuse, little things happen all the time that make a deep imprint on our young psyche.  From example, perhaps, we’re crying for mommy, but she’s busy with baby brother so she doesn’t come right away.  We feel unloved, perhaps unworthy of mother’s precious love.

We all come up with strategies to get away from this pain.  For some, it’s destructive activities such as heavy use of drugs or achohol, gambling, or poronography.  I’ve never been addicted to any of these things personally, but yes, I am an addict also.  My addiction has been to doing.

I had my share of pain as a young boy, much of it stemming from my father’s sudden death when I was 5.  As a child, I never did any therapy or any sort of healing process.  The only way I knew to get away from pain was working hard in school and playing sports incessantly in my free time, always staying busy.  I did get enough A's to get into Princeton and I also won quite a few tennis matches.  But, it was exhausting.

Getting  A's at Princeton took so much effort that by junior year, I was exhausted and burned out.  That Summer, a friend gave me an amazing book called The Inner Game of Tennis by Tim Gallwey. 

When, I began applying the lifestyle practices from the book on the court, my whole life changed.

One of the key principles of the Inner Game is to use the alternation between points and breaks to maximum advantage.  For those of you who’ve never played or watched tennis, the game is structured so that after each point, there is a break of 20-30 seconds.  These gaps in activity offer a wonderful opportunity to drop into a non-doing mode.

My old habit was to use this precious time to think about the last point, perhaps beating myself up if I’d missed an easy shot, or to worry about the next point.   From Tim, I learned how to drop into the Present.  I brought awareness to breath, watching the alternation between inhalation and exhalation.  I looked at the trees, listened to the birds.  Simply enjoyed a beautiful moment of non-doing.

Almost immediately, I noticed a dramatic difference in my experience while playing the points.  Rather than being uptight, afraid of missing, I was very relaxed, simply enjoying watching and hitting ball.  I not only had way more fun, but also played a lot better.

That was the beginning of my recovery process from my addiction to doing.  As 12-steppers will tell you, recovery is a long journey.  Mine has been a very rich one.  I spent years doing tons of meditation, and spending large amounts of time in nature, getting as far away as possible from the busyness of the working world.  Eventually, during one of my camping retreats on Mount Shasta, I had a vision to move to Washington, DC and start a nonprofit. 

 In my next blog, I’ll share about how I learned to apply the alternation between doing and non-doing in that job.

Andrew Oser has been offering spiritual life coaching, along with guided retreats on Mount Shasta since 1982.   Through hikes to little-known sacred sites, guided meditations, spiritual life coaching, and time drinking in the silence of the mountain, he helps clients to deeply renew themselves in body, mind, and spirit and receive clear vision for their lives.  For more info, please see www.mountshastaretreat.net